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tornrnypickles:

Freak people out in public restrooms by saying “come in” when they knock on the stall door

johnlockanddestielatemysoul:

christianmakesjokes:

hello yes, I would like to purchase one night stand.

cAN WE ALL JUST PAUSE AND APPRECIATE THIS PUN

johnlockanddestielatemysoul:

christianmakesjokes:

hello yes, I would like to purchase one night stand.

cAN WE ALL JUST PAUSE AND APPRECIATE THIS PUN

50kwatch:

u know what the worst thing about being a girl is… is when another girl asks u for a hair tie, but its ur last one, but u can’t say u don’t have one because she knows its on ur wrist, so u give it to her, and then she says “oh i’ll give it back!” knowing damn well she won’t, and u sit there sad because now you have to go buy another pack of hair ties that u know ur gonna lose by the end of the month

buckthefutcher:

crybecausebands:

my nan can’t pronounce ‘ch’ properly so at dinner yesterday she said to my dad will you take this plate of ships to the table (but she meant chips) so my dad replaced the plate of chips with this

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my nan slapped him whilst I cried

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natawhat:

misandrist:

People in their early twenties still refer to people older than them as “adults”. When do you think they stop… and realize… they are adults

I’m not an adult, I’m a child with a drinking permit.

randomlittlespark:

You can tell by the way I walk I’m a women’s man no time to talk

randomlittlespark:

You can tell by the way I walk I’m a women’s man no time to talk

tickettoheaven:

get your head in the game


I laughed too hard at this

tickettoheaven:

get your head in the game

I laughed too hard at this

phantasticphil:

HOW DO YOU EVEN FIND THAT MANY STICKY NOTES OH MY GOD